Sanity Check: How to lose Facebook friends

Greetings, smarty-pants university-type people!

At the request of my personal hyper-cephalized companions, I have come to you with yet another installment of your beloved Sanity Checks.  This week's subject?  How to lose friends on Facebook.

The Insanity
With over 900 million people on the site as of March 2012, generating 3.2 BILLION "likes" PER DAY in only the first quarter of 2012, it is safe to say that a lot of the world's population is doing their part in giving a daily offering to our all-powerful holy Z-berg, creator of The Book of Faces.

Isn't he just fucking dreamy...

But you know, the more people we get on Facebook, the more accurate our sample becomes at reflecting the trends of the general populace (yes, this girl took statistics).  Hooray!  We get to know about the public...and we all know one thing about the public, yes?  PEOPLE SUCK.  I swear, as this website becomes more and more mainstream--forgive my hipster moment--users are starting to see a huge influx of individuals who are ANNOYING AS SHIT.

Sanity Check: You, sir, are an asshole, but I love you.

Greetings, nerdy-pants!

Today, we're going to be talking about some stuff on the dangle-y genitalia front.  We've already talked about girlfriend hysteria, but we have yet to talk about the forces that drive it, outside of some girls just being down-right bat-shit.  I feel like one of those intro-series professors that just kind of tell you that polar molecules dissolve in water, but refuse to explain why.  Gentlemen, there was no way you were going to get away with me not talking about your contributions to our hysteria.  We're talking about how not to suck at being a boyfriend today, so put on your big-boy pants, dearies; this is gonna get ugly.

Sanity Check: Girlfriend Hysteria

Hellooooooo Pocket Protector-type peoples!

Welcome to another Sanity Check in this wonderful, magical portal of absolute knowledge that is my ever-so humble corner of the intrawebz.  I know I was supposed to address awkward turns of phrase this time around, but I couldn't come up with enough material to make it enjoyable or worth reading.  Instead, we will be speaking of a phenomenon that I have been observing ever since the girls in my grade stopped believing that boys had cooties.

Sanity Check: Wet, Sloppy Tongue-Hockey

Why hello there, my dear, horny university-type people!

Welcome to another Sanity Check on The Pocket Protector blog.  Today, boys and girls, we need to consider something that is becoming more and more prevalent on campuses and in public places as the days creep towards the holiday season.  You know, I get it.  It's cold, gross outside, and you're lonely.  You find someone and are so fucking happy that they'll bone you that you need to share that happiness from getting laid on a regular basis with the world.  I completely understand.  But I have a certain bone in mind that I need to pick with you...

This week's subject: PDA (Public Displays of Affection)

Sanity Check: Individuality Fails

Hello fellow Pocket-Protector-type people!

Sorry for the hiatus.  I had to work yesterday after a date out with the boy (ooer), so I was kind of busy.  Nevertheless, dear readers, we have some shit to address.

As the year wears on, one starts recognizing people on the journey to and from classes.  They are nameless souls most of the time, and you know them mostly by what they wear or how their hair is or how far apart their eyes are or whatever.  So my question to you is this...how do you want people to hold you in their memory?  This brings us to this week's subject: How NOT to assert your individuality.

Sanity Check: Roses are red. Violets are blue...I WANT IN YOUR PANTS, hbu??

Hellooooo Pocket Protector-type people!

This calls for some celebration, for I am back, and cynical as ever!  *Confetti shower*  I realized today that I haven't done a sanity check in AGES, and it's damn well time for it.  Fall quarter is well under way at WWU, and JEEZUM CROW the boys have no idea what they're doing...

This week's subject: Ineffective pick-up strategies for both men and women.

Case and point.

Sanity Check: "Mac"-Daddy Will Make You Crazy

Hello to my wonderful, fellow smartypants university-type people!  The time has come, once again, for me to start your week out right with another Sanity Check on TPP.  Besides, I hear the market value on grey matter has gone up significantly in the past forty years, so let's just say you're "making an investment in your future" by reading this.

This week's subject: People who drink Steve Jobs' Kool-Aid

Sanity Check: The Twit-Tard and Other Interweb Morons

Hello to you, my dear hyper-cephalized companions, and welcome to another Sanity Check on TPP.  It's that time of the week again; time for me to save you some of those precious IQ points.

This week's subject: The Twit-Tard and Other Interweb Morons

Sanity Check: Interior Diamonds for Your Interior Idiot

Hello to all my new, current, former, and wannabe smartypants university-type peoples!  Welcome to another edition of the Sanity Check on TPP.

Have you ever looked at something someone has just purchased or is wearing, and thought to yourself, "Now what the hell kind of function is that piece of shit going to serve?"  Well, if you have, you're definitely in the right place because...

This week's subject: Interior diamonds and other useless adornments and do-dads.

Sanity Check: One Night Stands

Oh baby, after a day's hiatus, it's time for The Pocket Protector to get all down and dirty with your not-so-smartypants philandering shennanigans.  Ladies and gents, we're about to get so filthy that Ke$ha's body glitter is going to be jealous.  Mmhmm.  Consider this your final warning. 

That's right bitches, this week's Sanity Check subject is "The One Night Stand".



Oh so classy.

Sanity Check: Boxers and Leggings and Bodysuits, Oh My!

Greetings, fellow dweebs and dweeb-ettes.  Welcome to another Sanity Check! 

This week's subject: Boxers, leggings, and bodysuits, also known as "crimes to humanity".

Insanity:

Most men choose boxers because they believe it allows a greater range of motion for certain...areas.  Also, I feel like after you turn 10, the whole "Spiderman is on my crotch" thing fails to be cool anymore, so you have to prove your manhood by wearing those Calvin Kleins. 

Way back in 2007, leggings (and the rest of the '80s) came back with a spandexy vengeance.  (Tights are SUPER comfy, let me tell you.  It's like slipping your leg into a skin-tight cocoon of warm fuzzies and nostalgia.)  It started off with girls pairing mini skirts with leggings, then long tunics with leggings, and soon devolved to wearing nothing but a normally cropped shirt and substituting the leggings for pants.  Now instead of classic neutrals, leggings are being made to be patterned, bright colors, or simply color-blocked like this:

Well, at least you can tell if she's coming or going...

Sanity Check: "Heads Carolina, Tails YOU'RE AN IDIOT."

Welcome to the first ever Sanity Check on TPP!  These are little opportunities to express to you just how ridiculous I think a certain something is and why.  It could be a song, movie, habit, person...anything really.  Think of this as my little gift to you for the start of your week.  Read this and think to yourself, "Well, hey at least I'm not like THAT guy."  Cuz you're not that guy.  That guy is that guy, obviously.  Nay, you my hyper-cephalized companion hold yourself to higher standards than that.  So rejoice in this shadenfreude!

This week's Sanity Check subject: "Heads Carolina, Tails California" by Jo Dee Messina