Sanity Check: You, sir, are an asshole, but I love you.

Greetings, nerdy-pants!

Today, we're going to be talking about some stuff on the dangle-y genitalia front.  We've already talked about girlfriend hysteria, but we have yet to talk about the forces that drive it, outside of some girls just being down-right bat-shit.  I feel like one of those intro-series professors that just kind of tell you that polar molecules dissolve in water, but refuse to explain why.  Gentlemen, there was no way you were going to get away with me not talking about your contributions to our hysteria.  We're talking about how not to suck at being a boyfriend today, so put on your big-boy pants, dearies; this is gonna get ugly.

Sanity Check: Girlfriend Hysteria

Hellooooooo Pocket Protector-type peoples!

Welcome to another Sanity Check in this wonderful, magical portal of absolute knowledge that is my ever-so humble corner of the intrawebz.  I know I was supposed to address awkward turns of phrase this time around, but I couldn't come up with enough material to make it enjoyable or worth reading.  Instead, we will be speaking of a phenomenon that I have been observing ever since the girls in my grade stopped believing that boys had cooties.

I Ruv You Long Time

Hello fellow Pocket-Protector-type people!

The year is winding down to a close.  Christmas is nearing, I'm getting overrun with requests for scarves and other knitted goods, and I'm finding that everyone is more cheery.  Hell, I actually had a bus-driver WAIT for me to cross the street to get to the bus stop today, which is completely unheard of as far as the douchebags of WTA go.  I was then offered a Christmas ornament and something to hang a wreath with by a very nice old woman.  What is it about Christmas that suddenly turns everyone's "trust no one and fuck everyone else" mentality off?  (That shall be spoken of in other blogs.)  I think this phenomenon is funny because two things happen to people on the holidays exactly identical to what happens to people at Warped Tours: they either end up really happy by the end of it or they want to rip someone's face off and wear it as a mask to condemn all those fucking perky people out there.  I pretty much always fall into the latter category, and I find it's because I'm often alone on the holidays.  Let's be honest here...the holidays is when having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is really nice and therefore the desperation factor jumps ten-fold.