Pleasing the Registration Gods

Hello to you, my hyper-cephalized companion!

Although the prospect of a full night's sleep (or a full night's partying) during Thanksgiving break looms in the subconscious of all the student drones on my campus, there is an unsaid presence among their fragile minds.  It sneaks around corners, whispers its name on the wind, and only shows glimpses of its face in periodic reminder emails.  Then, when you're least expecting it----BOOM.  It hits you harder than Charlie Sheen hits a hooker and fucks you in the ass before you have a second to protest.  The name of this ghoul, my fellow dweebs, is REGISTRATION.

Think we shall get into Anatomy, do we?  Go ahead, my pretty.

We've all been there before, and freshman, if you haven't had this unfortunate experience, your karma says that you're MORE THAN DUE for it.
You know what I mean, right?  For a good 3 hours, you plan out this ideal schedule that shines in its convenient and restful glory (i.e. not starting class until 11 AM).  Hell, it fucking sparkles when you open it on your computer.  You create a few, equally as pleasing alternate options, just in case the one class you don't really care about fills, and eagerly await your registration day.  You look occasionally at those classes, and watch the capacities steadily decline, but you're not worried because you have so many credits, so you're basically guaranteed a place, right?  I mean, you're even that department's major, so they should definitely give you priority.  The morning of, you wake up all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, hopeful for the fresh start of a new quarter, and decide to check on your prospective classes, certain that there will be a spot left just for----

FUCK. 

They're all full and you have 30 minutes until your sign-up time.  Like a chicken who has just learned it's going to have fresh veggies stuffed up its ass before it's roasted for dinner, you frantically email profs and plead desperately for overrides, even though the wait-list for this class is already at least 30 people long.  But they'll let you in.  You're a department major.  And they just HAVE to be by their computer in time for your registration because you are the most important student IN THE WHOLE DAMN UNIVERSITY, right?

Of course you get jack-shit back, you idiot.  So now you have a couple options: wait-list all of those ideal classes and risk your entire quarter or settle for something major-related.  The first option is for stupid people, so you go on a mad search of ClassFinder for anything that would be proactive for your major.  Of course, since those major-related classes are often pre-reqs for other classes, all of them are full as well.  And, by the way juniors, most of you have either completed your GURs or have schedule conflicts with any of them that fit. 

Before you know it, you're in Phase II of registration as a chem major, taking geology 101, abnormal psych, and Islamic civilization.  Not only that, but this affects the classes you can take for future quarters because you didn't get into the prereq you need for EVERY OTHER CLASS in your major.  As you would do to a boyfriend who is more in love with Skyrim that he is with you, you start giving yourself ultimatums, threatening the empty air that if you don't get into one of these classes, YOU WILL LEAVE.  Drop out.  Go to community college.  Or some other bullshit.

So how do you avoid this?  How THE HELL can you offer a sacrifice that is sufficient enough to please the registration gods?

Sometimes I feel like this is what I have to resort to.

Some people try to account for every option just in case one of their classes fails, and really should be awarded something for this crazy create-your-own adventure game they have crafted for themselves.  Sometimes it works, but those registration gods are ever-so tricksy and manage to find the one flaw in your plan that will make it crumble.

The easiest way to get overrides is to email the prof way in advance.  Actually, you know what, screw emailing them.  Go physically talk to them during their office hours.  I know a bunch of people--myself included--got into my 300-level Anthropology course simply because they developed a personal relationship with the professor beforehand.  Get to know them, and they're definitely more likely to throw you a bone.

Also, if you ARE going to email them because you fear human interaction, I would advise against writing something along the lines of "OMG i N33d @N 0v3rr1d3 4 uR cL@55!1!"  My email explained that I would be taking anatomy and organic chemistry paired together if I didn't have something else to put in its place, and keeping students from certain academic death is usually reason enough to persuade a prof into an override.

This is mostly advice for upperclassmen.  Freshman, I only have one, golden piece of advice for you:  don't get all your GURs done in one year.  Space them out so you can have something to fall back on if you encounter all this registration bullshit.

So what have we learned?
1. Give yourself lots of options.
2. Get to know your future professors or department heads.
3. Be rational, be calm, and be patient.  Ask nicely and not idiotically and ye shall receive thy override.

And finally, to all my fellow registering dweebs this quarter: God speed. <3