Why Cooking Squash Proves I Shouldn't Have Children

Greetings, nerdy-pants!

Today, we will be discussing the glory that is the squash.  It's cheap, it's fucking easy to make, and it lasts forever.  I seriously stock-pile these in the winter because they are DELICIOUS with butter, cinnamon, and brown sugar.

Personally, I'm a huge fan of acorn and butternut squash, but I know there are some who love the twisted innards of the spaghetti squash as well.

But, Becca, how does one go from an impenetrable orb of pumpkin-like material into sheer tastiness?  Fear not!  I shall show you the way, young grasshopper.


PRE-GAME PLAN: Line a baking pan with tin foil to reduce mess.  Mix 2 tablespoons brown sugar, 2 tablespoons softened butter, 2 tablespoons maple syrup, a pinch of salt, and a pinch of cinnamon in a bowl.  Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees F.

1. Acquire a squash.  Aww, look at the cute baby squash!

I'm. fucking. adorable.

2. Nurture and love your baby squash as you would your own child.  Do not neglect them by leaving them on your counter while you munch away at those insolent balls of starch that are potatoes, and most certainly do not leave it with only the baking soda in your fridge as its only companion!

3. Carefully place Baby Squash onto its oh-so comfy yet firm bed to rest when you are done giving it proper care.

Happy little squash on its happy little bed!  You can almost hear it cooing.

4. Take your blade of joy and wonder in your hand.  Now do horrible things to your baby squash.

"But I thought you loved me!!!"

5. Decapitate, knee-cap, and violently slice the face off of Baby Squash, ideally cutting it in half...but if you don't do it perfectly, I'm not gonna go stereotypical Asian on you and tell you've failed me or anything.

I feel like this is PETA's answer to the Jack the Ripper killings...

6. Using a spoon, carefully scoop out your baby's innards until you are left with an empty body cavity.

OH THE HUMANITY...er...SQUASH...ity!

7. Fill baby body cavities with the mixture of butter/brown sugar/maple sugar/salt/cinnamon and place on baking pan.

It looks like shit, but shall taste far from it.

8. Carefully put your baby in the oven at 400 degrees Fahrenheit.

9.  Let it bake for about an hour or until a fork will easily slide into Baby Squash's delicate yellow flesh.  Take out of oven, and taste its glory.

Tasty tasty baby...squash.

10. Oh and one last thing...

"I'm going to kill you in your sleep!" ^_^

I love making squash.  So much.  Thanks to my roommate Katie for making an appearance with baby squash!

Tune in next time for the official Halloween blog!

Until next time, dweebs <3