Nerdgasm: World Domination at It's Finest

Hello to you hyper-cephalized people, and welcome to a new edition of The Pocket Protector, specifically the first installment of (Click this first...) "It Came From the Interwebz"!

I think this is pretty self-explanatory, especially with this AWESOME music playing in the background, don't you think?   At the hotel, I have plenty of time to be on Stumbleupon, also known as "The Procrastinator's Worst Nightmare", so I find things constantly, not to mention that my friends are constantly posting stuff they find on SU on my wall.  This section will serve to show you the highlights of the internet for this week!

World Domination at It's Finest

Okay, so I have a confession to make...long ago in about 7th grade, I was pretty obsessed with the fact that me and my radioactive frog minions were going to eventually take over the world and enslave the human race.  (Good thing psych evals were never in the equation during those times.)  I don't know if I'm glad or disappointed that this website wasn't around back then because it literally allows you to plot your domination scheme.  This is what made my inner severely troubled 7th grader smile, for your viewing pleasure:

Your objective is simple: world domination.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: power

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first kidnap a scientist. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, unsettled by your arrival. Who is this Evil Genius? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in Classic Black?

Stage Two

Next, you must contaminate the Pacific Ocean. This will all be done from a abandoned church, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will flee in terror, as countless hordes of animal minions (rats, birds, etc...) hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must unleash your armies of destruction, bringing about Something That's Really Metal. Your name shall become synonymous with fuzzy bunnies, and no man will ever again dare refuse to be your prom date. Everyone will bow before your Cunning Intelligence, and the world will have no choice but to give you control of the planet.

Cell Bio Is Straight Up Gangsta'

Last year when I took cell bio, it didn't exactly go so hot.  My professor was clearly a genius, could write out all 10 steps of glycolysis in great detail within about 30 seconds, but had a stutter that no man should really ever have to live with (or listen to).  I think I spent about 1/3 of the time in this lecture listening to him trip over his words, which would eventually confuse him, thus making him start all over again.  It got to the point where I was whispering things into my friend's voice recorder like "We're all planning a mass-suicide after this lecture...come drink some Kool-Aid."  This video literally saved our asses, and was really funny too.

     We had a class of about 80, and our prof would only print 40 tests.  You have a PhD, and you can't figure out that a stack of 40 pages feels a whole hell of a lot different than a stack of 80?  He tucked his shirt into his underwear, carried around a pink REI travel mug, and wore nothing but khaki cargo pants and an old black t-shirt whose ancient origins remain unknown to archeologists everywhere (seriously, I've talked to the Anth department and they're still scratching their heads over it).  To top it off, our text book looked like this:

You literally take this book out of your back-pack, see all those colors, the organelles and proteins dancing merrily across the cover, the authors of the book doing a play on a Beatles album cover on the back, and think to yourself "Yayyy!  It's time to go on a joyous adventure into the magical happy-fun-time land of cell biology!  I wonder what WONDERS could await me!"  Then you start reading and realize that you just took that stranger's candy, are on the WORST trip of your entire life, and have just woken up to find yourself trapped in a dirty 4x4 cell in a straight jacket, stained by the misfortune of others, with no way out other than to read 70 pages about and memorize *insert random acronym here* and it's every function, turning the pages using only your tongue.  I'd rather be shot, cuz then I could pull a 50 and survive that shit...word...for sure...*random bastardized gangster sign*

Female Consumerism!
Guys, you can keep yourself busy with this and these while I talk to the ladies about shopping. (Both are NSFW)

In the short-term, Forever 21 is having a sale in which you can get classic jackets (i.e. leather bomber with or without hood, or a blazer in a variety of colors) for $21.  Their sale section is also KILLER right now.  I recommend this brand because they sell pretty decently made clothing for really low prices, and they select items to be 20% off every single day.  Also, shipping is free for orders over $50, which is great and how I'm getting a black leather bomber jacket, an old man cardigan, a knit tunic, 2 necklaces, and a ring for $55. 

In the long-term, the website called Just Fabulous is a site that sells shoes and handbags for $40 a piece with free shipping, no minimum purchase.  And yes, my friends, these guys are legit.  They are not simply taking your credit card information to fuel their cheap hooker and crack addiction.  I got this bag and these boots from them:

Not only that, but I got these for only TWENTY DOLLARS a piece.  When you sign up, you get 50% off your first item.  Got multiple email addresses?  Sign them up, receive the same discount.  Talk about "bi-winning".

Well, that's all folks!  Thanks for tuning into another edition of The Pocket Protector.  Come back tomorrow for the latest Sanity Check!  With that, I leave you with this:

Peace out, dweebs <3