The Big, Bad, Facebook Update Monster is...Awesome??

Hello to you, my fellow smartypants university-type people!  I greatly apologize for the long hiatus.  If you happen to attend my establishment of higher education (Western Washington University), you are well aware that it is the first week of classes.

Translation for me?  "OMG I HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES AGAIN?!!  GAH!"  So I've been getting on top of my reading and figuring out some extra-curricular logistics this week.  Sorry for leaving you in the dark.  As the quarter progresses, I may---and I hate to say this---have to reduce my posts to either 2 or 1 per week.  We shall see, but don't worry your pretty little over-sized heads about it; I'll keep ya in the loop.

Also, BlogSpot/Blogger went through an update, and now if you click on any of my pictures, you'll be able to see them full size.  YAY!

Now, then, on to the main attraction!

Behold, the mighty all-knowing Holy Z-berg!

Mark Zuckerberg, our highly worshipped, highly paid, all-knowing cyber-god, announced a couple days ago that Facebook is set to go through a MAJOR reformatting update.
Needless to say, all of his followers (haha Twitter joke) were hanging on every word he was saying, making haste to either delete or make that Google+ account, with fingers at the ready to type out an angry status update about how "cH@nG3 0n f@c3b00k 5uCk5!"  Damn them for trying to improve the website we pay nothing to use, right?!  WRONG!  Here me now, ye followers of the Holy Z-berg, the website is going to chronicle our lives, and it's going to do it the only way it knows how: awesomely...and stalker-y.  Get familiar with the term "cover" and "timeline", Facebook-users.  Check it out in this intro done by the one and only Philip DeFranco:

Basically, you can say goodbye to the old profile format.  Instead, what you're going to be looking at is a dynamic, LIVE feed of your life.  Every post you make on Facebook will go into a timeline on your profile, as will links, likes, etc.  In fact, your timeline starts on your date of birth, which really allows you to upload baby pictures, pictures of your childhood, etc.  It also enables you to catalogue major life events along the way, which were not announced on Facebook.  At first I was like, "Dude, this is so weirdly Big Brother, but it's like we're opting into it."  I was really skeptical, mildly perturbed even, but don't knock it until you try it, eh?  Look, we were all screaming for a "search your wall" option, and this basically gives it to you.  You can go month by month, or even year by year, and see every post.  The only thing that I'd like to see implemented are filters for links/photos/etc. to make the search a little easier.  Wall posts are now entered into your timeline, which is pretty cool...maybe a mind-game though.  Makes you feel important when you're officially "a part of history" on someone's Facebook when you've only written "Damn gurl, I would tap that." on their wall.  But maybe that's just me.

Possibly the best thing about this...games will no longer have annoying "sharing" options, but will simply appear as a module on the timeline itself.  You know what that means??  NO MORE FARMVILLE UPDATES.  Thank zombie Jesus.

Also, on the layout itself, you will have a smaller profile picture overlaid on top of what's known as a "cover", a shmancy word for a banner.  Personally, I love it because I can advertise this lovely place!  See?

I'm loving the timeline...lovin' it like a microbiologist loves her bacilli.  I used to enjoy those "this time last year" things that would randomly pop up on the sidebar from time to time because I could go back and reflect on where I was in my life.  Now I can pretty much do that whenever.  It really gives a person an overview of how far another individual has come since they first joined the website, you know?  Also, if you're trying to get to know someone (I say this in the least creepy way possible), what they "like" is only going to get you so far.  If you can discover what they've done and what they've had to overcome, I feel like deeper connections can be made.  With the increased prevalence of online dating, this Facebook update is, without doubt, going to be a god-send to all you lonely folk.

This whole update is set to hit the site on September 29th December 22nd.  Don't want to wait?  There is a way, trust me.

Ultimately, though, I think I like this reformatting mostly because it's sleek, simple, and dynamic...and not cumbersome and awkward like the one-legged figure skater that is most Facebook updates.  Will this please or outrage the rest of the masses?  I don't know.  Zuckerberg's being rather gutsy with this new layout, which can only be a result of needing an answer to Google+.  People might jump ship to the G-man, mostly because this intermediate update is fucking obnoxious, but I think the new Facebook will most likely be well-received as it does warrant more customization (and not in the awkward kitchy Myspace sort of way).  I'm interested to see what Google and Twitter do about this, if anything.

So begins the epic battle between social networking sites.  Facebook has made its move, G+ and Twitter.  Rally the troops and brief your generals: it is officially your turn to throw a punch, and this fight ain't gonna be pretty.

Until next time, dweebs <3