I hope you are ready for another riveting adventure in the pridelands of the human race, dear readers, for we are taking off in another installment of "The Field Guide", the expert's taxonomic handbook for the Humana kingdom.
We have seen today's subjects around big metropolitan areas, concentrated the most among university campuses. They wear ironic mustaches, drink awful beer, roll pantlegs up for seemingly no good reason, and their entire wardrobe seems to be nothing short of an anachronistic loogie hocked up from the oropharynx of the demonized bastard child of modern fashion trends and kitchy 90s sitcoms. That's right, dear readers, we are investigating the fascinating lives of Pabst amorus, also known as "Hipsters".
Classification
Kingdom: Humana
Phylum: Capitalista
Class: Urbanidae
Order: Pretensius
Family: Hypocritica
Genus: Pabst
Species: amorus
